Scum and villainy, part III

Last week, I brought you the highlights of the police report I get every week from the Rexburg Police Department. Now, in the next installment of the series, I’m going to further discuss some of the disturbances — criminal, civil, and just weird — that lend local color to Rexburg.

First up is an “ex-friend refusing to pay cell phone bill.” I’m wondering if the friend became an ”ex-friend” before or after he or she decided not to front the cash for the bill. Things like that can really drive a wedge into friendships.

“Female returned to apt. and found a pair of her underwear under the bed; item was moist.” Part of me really wants to know more — firstly, why did this girl call the cops to say that her skivvies were wet? — and part of me wants to make sure I never know any more than I do now about this particular case.

Here’s an interesting one: “Fraud complaint — fake U.S. Treasury check — $14,500. Money sent to Nigeria.” Yes, Nigeria. Not to make any false accusations here, but either someone from Nigeria is laundering money or Rexburg is a hotspot for the Nigerian mafia.

Then we have a window shot by a BB gun, a few domestic disturbances probably involving abuse (which, in all seriousness, should never happen, even in Rexburg), and a few animal complaints.

Next time someone says Rexburg is boring, I’m going to simply refuse to pay their cell phone bill. Or send their money to Nigeria.