I have a bad feeling about this.

I wouldn't use that title lightly, but I just watched the worst movie ever made.

Since coming to college, I've been a bit of a connoisseur of bad movies. Sometimes I just sit in front of the TV and watch whatever's on, which is a terrible habit.

I've enjoyed the horribleness of some movies. The Sci-Fi Channel has produced some truly horrible movies. Last semester, my roommate and I watched a movie in which a bunch of college students and a greedy professor searched for giant, superintelligent apes. The apes killed everyone brutally, and then — with the two best-looking girls and the most studly guy still alive — the biggest ape finally ripped the last characters to shreds.

Next, I saw one where a robotic consciousness invaded a ship on the ocean, killing people and using their dessicated body parts to build more cyborgs. The captain is greedy, condemning all the youngish crewpeople. Everyone dies except for the two best-looking girls and a guy.

But this one took the cake. Jason X was on last night featuring the evil, hockey-masked psychopath title character. He gets cryogenically frozen at the beginning, and in 2450, a group of — surprise! — students and a greedy teacher find him and bring them aboard their ship. He kills the first girl — defying tradition, actually, since she's the best-looking one — by sticking her head in liquid nitrogen and smashing her face off. Then the movie disintegrates into Jason killing more and more people in more and more brutal ways.

Eventually, the android babe — or at least she's intended to be a babe, but they failed there — finds a bunch of leather and cool guns and blasts Jason into little teeny pieces in a ridiculous scene. As the surviving students attempt to get off the ship, some electronics randomly begin sparking, prompting the ship's surgical systems to rebuild Jason into a cyborg. He then kills more people.

I won't ruin the ending, in case you're ever in need of a good laugh.

Oh, it was terrible. My roommates and I finally went to bed at 2 in the morning, already missing those two hours of our lives that had been so callously wasted.